It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
