so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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