Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
