i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
