he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
