Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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