So drunk its hurt
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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