How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
