She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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