My hair reeks of homosexuality.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
