I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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