do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
