I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
