i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
