Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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