So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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