Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
