By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
