Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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