im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
