How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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