Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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