I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
