We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
time to smoke my breakfast
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
