i just had sex bonerless
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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