yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
