I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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