i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
