I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the condom got lost in my hair
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
