repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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