he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think your dad took our porno
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
