I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
