I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
