Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
