Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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