I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
