just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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