Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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