At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
