She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
