Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
