am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
