i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
