I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
