my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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