I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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