I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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