We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How's work?
Spinning.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
