dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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