So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
be right there i have to get my cape
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
