I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
