so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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