How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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