And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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