I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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